I'm ashamedly, irrevocably in love with Nanami Kento - and trying very hard not to be for the preservation of my sleep cycle/mental health. However bad you think it is, it's probably worse. The only reason I'm not in debt over feeding my Nanami merchandise addiction is because I never started the collection, knowing A) Nanami Kento himself would disapprove of mismanaged finances and B) If i started I'd never stop till my walls and sheets and maybe skin were decorated with the number 7-3 haha...ha.
There's spoilers below so be warned!
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Idk if it's a mourning process or what, but I'm having mild mood swings every time I think about how his character was treated, both in terms of his writing and fate. I could spend a thousand words and then some about how he's groundbreaking and revolutionary and meaningful to an exhausted millennial like myself, but a lot of people have already, so I won't go into that. Suffice to say, I'm obsessed and sorta sick of being obsessed. My brain is now hardwired to shoot dopamine deposits whenever my neural network encounters the thought of Nanami, my crack cocaine, my absinthe, my Spotify premium subscription service...
Of course, what makes it harder to cope is considering that he was killed off in the prime of his life, not just by real world standards, but considering how meaningful his relationships were to key characters in the story. On one hand, knowing that Gege has always intended this for him (it's alluded to in his name/design, heartbreakingly) makes it easier to swallow as a narrative device. Obviously I want to wail (and have, to myself well past midnight) "Goddamit what a waste of a character" but I know the author wants to emphasise the cruelty of this world they set up, and be a trigger for the protagonist.
But the curious thing which I can't reconcile is that, I know Nanami died with no regrets but there's zero closure for me understanding that. In terms of plot, he didn't have any overarching goal left unaccomplished to underscore the tragedy or drive the knife further into the reader's heart. He was just so exemplary in his empathy, ethics and approach to the grievances the world provided, large and little - and he would most likely remain that way, so that's what I mean when I say he died the "perfect" character. I don't know if it's the most effective approach to wean yourself off the idea of someone by analyzing their flaws, but I feel like it's a useful first step (especially for a fictional person)
Anyway, surely it doesn't make sense for a writer as good as Gege not to give someone flaws? And I'm really trying to find some in Nanami, but I can't, maybe because my bias is too big or I just can't see it. I've been wracking my brains trying to think what's wrong with him or me, I can't give him up. There are quite a few hilarious ones on twitter, but they're all mentioned in jest, like he has a hideous sense of fashion (easily overlooked), or that he has a washboard ass to go with the abs (perfectly acceptable tradeoff IMHO~~-I'm hoe?)
It also doesn't help that he was portrayed as someone who grew from his flaws or mistakes, like running away from his responsibilities as a sorcerer, that he confronted his trauma one way or another. He honestly feels like not just a well rounded character, but an aspirational person irl. I'd say the closest thing to a flaw I can pick out is that he's too good, but he has or represents a very tempered sort of idealism that is totally realistic and plausible in this age, an approach that's easy for people to adopt in their own small yet significant way, making me love him more. And if he is "perfect", isn't that more a mistake or flaw of writing than the character himself? The worse thing I can imagine ascribing to him is that he cares too much, despite coming across as kinda standoffish or keeping to himself, though those are introvert behaviors I'd identify with. And who wouldn't want such a caring figure in their lives? I don't think he'd do it to the point of being overbearing, as we see with Yuuji.
I don't know. I'm just so tired of missing Kento and trying to keep him alive in my mind by reading stories or looking at art of the beautiful life he deserved and going through the cognitive dissonance of accepting and rejecting his death 773 times in a week. I love him as a character, as a man/person, as embarrassingly, an imaginary partner. I need to know why or how he'd be terrible in any of three capacities, is there even a single negative fundamental aspect that I can't argue against? Even him not wanting to be in a relationship cause he thinks it's selfish is like some sort weird reverse catnip to me.
I mean there's also the caveat that I love him so much I'd be accepting of his flaws, like you would a real person; not in a delusional way (or any more delusional than it is to be forgiving of a fictional character) but in a mature, "let's work past this" sort of approach you'd have with a real person.I bet Nanami Kento would disapprove of me being so thoroughly addicted to Nanami Kento but... I really can't resist the idea of him. Dammit Gege why couldn't you have just written him as a ruthless villain like originally intended instead of this model mentor, gorgeous 6 foot tall simp-bait??
Believe me, I recognise how unhealthy this obsession is but don't have any other recourse than to analyse him over and over to understand it's not possible for someone like him to exist. But thinking about him this intently/intensely tends to set off some vicious cycle of pining. I want to stop filling my brain with Nanami by stimulating my mind with Nanami - just great. Genius. I can't distract myself with work or hobbies or writing like I usually do, his existence is like containing a whirlpool in the palm of your hand, it's impossible but the suggestion of those possibilities keep my hands reaching out for a ghost.
TL;DR: Help me find reasons to detest Nanami Kento. (Proper ones relevant to the story or how he's presented in the anime/manga) Or, if you have coping mechanisms on how to fall out of love with a stupidly sacrificial kind beautiful fictional man, please drop your wisdom.
